EDIT 12/21 (Last edit I promise!): You all inspired a new podcast series about people sharing stories of their darkest times and how they overcame them, growing from the experiences. Check my newest post.
EDIT 12/20: A warrior doesn't give up during hard times, so neither will I. This hasn't been the best for my mental health, but it could always be worse. I still haven't decided what I'm going to do yet, whether stay, or move to another location, but I'm going to have to closely play it by ear the next few weeks before I decide. I don't really have anywhere to go, and I would be throwing a lot away.
I feel like a sailor lost at sea during a storm, writing a diary that someone's found here. Real Faction: The Later Years. Or a sailor telling one of those crazy stories at ye ol' tavern.
With that said, I may try to get a new job, one that doesn't induce expensive car repairs and wear. Thank you for all who have supported me! What's next? I'm working on something special for you guys, especially those who have donated, as a big thank you for saving my ass with rent the coming month. I need to make a little more money, and figure something out.
EDIT 12/18: I'm honestly surprised at how many people have donated to help my cause, the amounts, and the kind messages left on here and PayPal notes....thank you so much. It means a lot. You all have saved my life. It's restored my faith, my hope that things will be okay, and get better. I love you all. I promise to do my best, and keep going. This feels like when Goku asked the world to help his spirit bomb to lay down Buu.
The truth is I'm not okay. I could name the list of things happening to me like having to get all my tires replaced, working crazy long shifts at work to work harder, my roommates' car getting repo'd, them having me pay hundreds of dollars extra (after ALREADY paying my share of rent) just to barely make ends meet with rent (close calls), coworkers harassing me and one throwing food at my car to be funny, being emotionally abused and neglected overall by people, screwed over, BPD getting worse because I don't know who to trust anymore.
My compassion is almost nothing now, I'm becoming a miserable creep, the thing I didn't want to be. And the cherry on top? Because of the 4 tires having to be replaced since I have to deliver pizzas for a living and it's been some months now, I doubt I'm going to be able to afford rent at this point. I have nowhere else to go, don't want an eviction on my record, but one of my roommates doesn't seem to want to walk to a job or take a bus. I've been taken advantage of, stepped on, manipulated, harassed, and I'm breaking.
I'm not asking for donations, I'm not going to be that guy, but I want to leave that option open in case anyone wants to, because I honestly do need help. But, you don't have to. I haven't been posting music much or anything because of all this. My life is a living hell, and I honestly wish I lived somewhere better, with better people.
Here's the donation links if you want, and I'm more active on my discord server. I can't catch a break. It's like whenever I try to get up, something beats me down. Most of what I just told you has happened in just the past week-ish, as crazy as that sounds. I'm trying my hardest not to give up, but because of my roommates, and life in general throwing me curveballs, I'm pretty fucked at this point.
If you want to donate, here ya go:
Love you guys....I'll still be judging Pixel Day next month if I don't get evicted. I don't know what to do, to feel, or predict anymore.